In The Eye of the Storm

I often see people who are in shock and freaking out over some crisis.  I've seen witnesses at car wrecks who seem to be worse off than the people involved in the crash.  They can't figure out why I'm not freaking out and I'm wondering why they are.

I become very focused in a crisis.  Everything unimportant seems to fall away and the distractions of daily life are gone.  It's just me, the other people involved and the situation at hand.  No past... no future... just the present.  Someone inside of me just takes over.  I've never really been able to explain it until I came across the following passages from one of Steven Pressfield's books:

“I was remote. I was detached. I felt like another person was inside me. This other person was me, only stronger and crueler, more cunning and more deadly.
I never told anyone about this secret me. I was afraid they might think I was crazy, or try to take this other me away, or convince me that I should be ashamed of him. I wasn’t. I loved him. In sports or fistfights, in moments of crisis or decision, I cut loose my conventional self and let this inner me take over. He never hesitated. He never second-guessed. Later, in combat, when I began to experience fragments of recall that were clearly not from this lifetime, I knew at once that these memories were connected to my secret self. They were his memories."

It was like reading something from deep within my soul.  I experienced exactly what Pressfield described in this fictional account.  It sounds crazy and I doubt anyone will understand.  I've experienced those memories "not from this lifetime" and of battles I've never been in.  

The Spirit is eternal.  We each have a premortal, mortal and eternal identity and purpose.  We have all lived before coming into this world.  Some where, shrouded behind the veil, our spirits have memories of our past, premortal life.  

We bring that our identity, characteristics, and purpose into this world.  Pressfield states it this way, “We are warriors. Our trade stands a handbreadth from that of the murderer and the assassin. Perhaps in another lifetime, you and I have committed grave crimes. This life now may be our purgatory. How do I absolve myself of those transgressions, which I cannot even remember? By sacrificing my ego, my greed, my fear, my hesitation, and my selfishness on the 'altar of strife'.

How do I perform this rite? By striding into harm’s way for no cause, no dream, no crusade, but only for the striding itself and for the comrades at my side."

I doubt anyone will understand any of this.  You and I have no beginning and no end.  Birth was not our beginning and death is not our end.  

The 'secret me' is why I'm calm in crisis.  The spirit inside of me has existed for thousands of years - possibly even longer than what we can count or consider.  He was created for crisis and thrives in the midst of it.  He is a Guardian.